


Living With Me Must've Damn Near Killed You

by FlamingFlyingV



Category: Mind Blind - Jo O'Connor
Genre: Gen, TW: suicidal thoughts, crossposted from tumblr, repressed trauma, sadfic time
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-27
Updated: 2021-02-27
Packaged: 2021-03-18 18:14:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,458
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29737860
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FlamingFlyingV/pseuds/FlamingFlyingV
Summary: In the weeks since the incident and her parents leaving for Milwaukee, Norah's been barely holding it together. Not that public school ever cared about anyone's trauma.
Comments: 1
Kudos: 7





	Living With Me Must've Damn Near Killed You

The school nurse let her keep the ice pack. From what Norah remembered of the one time Sally took a nasty bonk to the head in gym class, the school preferred to get their money’s worth and refroze them. Maybe Mr. Anderson took pity on her after he had to hand back the remnants of her glasses in a Ziploc baggie. Or just took pity on her in general. That was possible too.

But the sympathy of the known hippie school nurse and the assistant principal didn’t stop the phone call home and the two day suspension.

The anxious dread that had been building ever since she heard the words ‘your brother is on his way’ threatened to burst when he appeared in the doorway of the conference room they had put her in. No words were exchanged. Not even mentally. Just a small quip of a smile and a gesture of his head to come along.

It was odd getting in the car and not instantly taking off. Instead of the engine revving to life and radio blaring Chicago’s rock station to the nearby area, the near silence held nothing but the thick plastic of the ice pack crinkling against her cheek and his thumbs drumming on the leather of the steering wheel. Quick and soft.

Norah didn’t know what she was expecting. Anger? Annoyance? Disappointment? His voice raised in general? Regardless, she jumped at the sound of his voice when he softly asked “What happened?”

“You spoke to them. You know.”

“Yeah and Dr. Pendleton still scares the hell out of me. Brought back some deep seated fears.” Nick huffed, joking on her behalf. Out of the corner of her vision she saw his smile fall at the lack of reaction. “But I want to hear your side of things.”

She hugged herself with her free arm, wishing she could sink even further into the bucket seat.

“If she got of you of all people to throw a punch, I'm sure whatever she did warranted it, but this isn’t like you.” With a sigh, he ran a hand through his hair. The shade of brown just a bit darker than her own. As well as Mom’s.   
The ice pack crinkled with the involuntary shudder that went through her, but Nick continued.

“You feel bad picking the mean options in video games, let alone throw punches at your classmates.“

A shaky breath left her, bracing herself before speaking. “Someone messed with the amp. When we were getting ready for class I went to turn it on there was just really, really loud feedback. When I finally got it down, everyone was staring at me. Then Megan, she-” She glanced over at her brother, hazel eyes meeting the other as he nodded for her to continue. 

The girl from the flute section was one of her usual bullies. Some degree of Ment that decided back in middle school that she was going to try and ruin any enjoyment Norah got from band class. On a good day the other girl was pretty easy to ignore. Practice took up enough of her thoughts as it was.

Norah knew she should have stayed home when Sally let her know that she wasn’t feeling the greatest. It’s what they normally did for both their sakes. But basketball band practice was starting that day, and she was eager to trade her heavy snare drum harness and drumsticks for her guitar. Well, the music department's loaner Stratocaster knock-off anyway. She didn't trust bringing something from her own arsenal. After everything that had happened over the past several weeks, she just wanted something to go right for once.

That ended the moment Megan the Flute Player asked ‘if she could be any louder’.

Any other time she would have brushed it off. She knew she was loud. That’s why she asked Nick to teach her how to play guitar in the first place. But that didn’t stop their mom from going on her drives. All the hard rock and metal acts in the world didn’t stop her from being any louder. 

_Why are you never quiet? Why are you always there?_

A cold shiver had run through her at the memory, and instead of ignoring the other girl, Norah hissed “Shut up.”

"Oh, like you can’t?"

"I said shut up!’’

Sadistic grin in tow, the other girl pushed the guitar on its stand beside her to the ground. The resulting sound it and the amp made was far worse than the earlier feedback.

Norah saw red.

She couldn’t look Nick in the eye anymore. “I didn’t realize what had happened until Miss Lindsey pulled me off of her and was taking us both to the principal’s office.”

Nick didn't say a word. She couldn’t blame him. He probably skimmed over the part about ‘When The Child Gets Into A Fight In School’ section in the terms and conditions of guardianship. Why would he have to worry about it? No matter how much her bullies had gotten to her, she always had a way of coping that, uh, wasn’t breaking their noses. She was a good kid.

Her breath hitched. The ice pack was making her face a bit too cold. As she took it away from her cheek something caught her eye. A long dried streak of blood against the vibrant neon tie-dye of the sweater sleeve. The sweater she borrowed from Sally.

Another thing ruined by Norah Wiseman.

_If you just stayed home today you wouldn't have fucked up your only friend's sweater. If you weren't so petty and just shut up for once, mom and dad would still be here and you wouldn't have ruined everything for Nick. If you never woke up that day, everyone would've been better-_

_Don't._

She wasn't entirely sure whether he said or thought it before she was engulfed in a tight embrace made slightly awkward by the car's center console.

She was doing it again. But instead of hurting herself like she wanted, she was hurting him too. God, she didn't want that. Not at all. Already raw skin stung at the tears that formed. "Nick-"

"Don't think that. Please don't ever-" The only other time she had ever heard his voice crack as it did was that night he carried her to her room. "My life could never be made better by losing you."

Outside, the brakes of a passing car squealed. 

Oh no, wait. That sound came from her.

Apologies came out in the flood of tears against his shoulder, shielded by the rumpled blue windbreaker. For making him miss classes to fix her mistake. For him not being able to see his friends. For the time she made fun of him for really messing up that strawberry rhubarb pie. For swiping one of his Pokemon games and accidentally corrupting it. For the solid three weeks she called him Nickelback instead of Nicky Mouse. For being embarrassed at him for being extremely enthusiastic at the last marching band competition. For ruining his life.

For ruining everyone’s lives. His. Dad’s. Mom’s.

"I told her I hated her! That's what caused it!" She choked out between sobs. "B-but I don't hate her Nick! And now she…"

"Mom doesn't hate you Button." He said softly, hugging her a bit tighter.

"Do you-"

"I never could."

The weight of weeks of repressed emotions, hidden by lame jokes and coping methods long worn thin, was made lighter with every tear she shed. Nick held her until the tears eventually wanned.

With one last affirming squeeze before he let her go, he reassured "We’ll get through this Norah. I promise."

And despite the ache of the bruise surrounding her left eye, she believed him.

"Though can we stop somewhere on our way home? I, uh, need to find a way to get blood out of a sweatshirt before Sally gets mad."

Nick, as sensitive as ever, let out a loud bark of laughter. "Oh please. Knowing Sally the only feelings she’s going to have is either being really disappointed she missed you breaking that girl's nose, or 'Sweet! War trophy!'"

Norah couldn't help but smile. Fear of disappointment aside, Nick was right about Sally's potential reactions. "Fair enough."

After finally putting the keys in the ignition, he elbowed her gently. "Hey, you don't need to feel bad about the other things. If you didn't pick on me at least a bit, I'd be afraid I had failed as an older brother." An insufferable smirk slowly appeared as he added. "Also your secret is safe with me."

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Your Twitter bio is the opening line of 'How You Remind Me'. You ain't slick sis."

**Author's Note:**

> ~~never made it as a wiseman~~


End file.
